Expectations

My pregnancy was horrible for me in the beginning. I had migraines for days where on my days off I would spend in a room with all the lights off in bed because I couldn’t get up from the pain in my head. Thank God that phase only lasted the first trimester. After this came my second trimester which was okay, it was only weird because I had lost 20 pounds instead of gaining weight. This lead into my third trimester in which I was suffering from high blood pressure, low iron levels, I didn’t want to eat, and my marital problems weren’t making my situation any better. All I wanted to do was cry and hug my oldest son. I was still working a full time job holding very heavy instrument trays working 12 hour shifts it was so hard I don’t know how I didn’t pop these babies earlier than what I did. I was always exhausted but I love what I do and wanted to save as much money as I could since the plan was for me to be a stay at home for a while. I was so excited about twins oh my god I could just picture them so tiny and perfect. I was excited about their genders terrified if it were to be two girls, I’m not the girly type i don’t know how to raise girls. I would kill myself and their dad wasn’t ready to have 1 girl let alone two!! One of my best friends needed to know the sex I think more than I did so we went together along with my mom and Alex to find out the sex when we found it was a boy and girl, I was so ecstatic it was perfect ! I would at least experience having a daughter but it wouldn’t be too crazy. It was perfect for Alex because he wouldn’t be surrounded by girls 24/7 and it was perfect for me because I would have the mother daughter experience. I was beyond excited having 3 children it was going to be crazy but they would be raised together.