THE TRUTH

Months went by I got huge beyond huge I’ll put up some pics. I felt disgusting big my stretch marks were popping but I was happy and in love with my babies and oldest son. I was so excited about the whole situation. It was the cutest thing ever he would touch my belly and say “remember we have to take care of mami and the babies”. I was beyond annoyed that every week I had to go get a biophysical on the twins (which is where they monitor the babies for an hour and check their breathing, movements, etc. Not your regular ultrasound). It had to be done in the hospital, besides that I would have to go into the doctors office every so often, as well as meet with a specialist every 2 weeks let’s just say it was a very hectic time for me. Finally came the big day it was a Sunday I just knew this was the day I kept getting contractions but I wasn’t sure if they were Braxton Hicks or not. I told my ex husband to please take me to the ER because I thought it was time. He was freaking out and so was I. It was so nerve wrecking we got to the hospital and as I thought I was having contractions every 10 minutes. Oh man were we freaking out. He didn’t know what to do as I didn’t either. We just started crying together it’s one of those moments that you’re terrified but at the same time happiness and excitement is taking over. I didn’t bring the diaper bag I didn’t bring anything but thank god I had everything ready at home. I spent two days on monitors because they wanted to keep the twins in me cooking for as long as they could due to the fact that I was only 36 weeks pregnant. I was so Miserable those days i didn’t have anything to eat, I had back pains, I couldn’t move because if not the monitors would fall off my belly, it was just a bad one. My doctor was so over my calls, I would at least call him every 2 hours but he kept in touch and even though it was a rough 2 days everything came out perfect! I was so upset because it was going to be a c-section but at the same time relieved I was going to stop having back pains and these little monsters that were sucking the life out of me we’re finally coming out to this world for that I could meet them! When I met my babies all I could was cry. I always said I would never feel what I felt with Alexander ever again in my life how could I love these kids how I love him? Well let me tell you the moment I met my twins and the moment they were out of me I felt the same way I felt towards my first born and they were too my heart out of my body now I was divided into 3. My baby boy Andy was taken away from me so quickly. I didn’t understand why at the moment and I was so scared I thought something went terribly wrong. I went to recovery and they were explaining everything to me as to why they took Andy from me and it was because he had fluid in his lungs he was in icu attached to monitors for 2 LONG days. The first night that you have a csection you’re not suppose to get up but I found the strength to get up and walk from my room to the icu to give warmth to my little boy it was beyond painful but so rewarding when I was able to hold him in my arms. A day went by and it was time for me to shower I didn’t want to see myself naked in a mirror I felt as my body was destroyed when I first looked in the mirror I couldn’t stop crying (you’re very swollen after a c-section, nothing like vaginal birth). My ex husband came in rushing and asked if I was okay I told him how I felt and he hugged me and said “No woman on this earth is as beautiful as you are.” (Among other words) I remember how much it touched me but that happiness only lasted a few weeks.